First off, I want to say that I am not going to quit breastfeeding, just in case anyone was concerned about that. But...
I'm not enjoying breastfeeding. Really, really not. It seems I am struggling with oversupply this week (never thought I'd have that problem)... James has had pretty much every symptom in the book for oversupply. And I'm trying to correct the problem with info from La Leche league International... but it's going slowly.
Basically, I'm tired of being another person's food source, especially when I feel like I can't do it right. First I had problems with a bad latch, and then just as I'm about to figure that out, this new problem arises. He also has a small diaper rash that doesn't respond to any creams and is probably another symptom of there being too much lactose in his system from oversupply (we're calling our pediatrician tomorrow).
On the upside, oversupply causes him to gain weight quickly, which isn't a problem to be concerned about. He weighted 10 lbs 6oz at last weight-in on our scale (Oh my goodness!). I think he is also almost 23 inches long, which makes him a very big boy who has outgrown all his newborn clothes and most of his 0-3 mo clothes. Already. At 5 weeks old. *tear*
But yeah. I like pumping and giving him a bottle more than breastfeeding because breastfeeding feels like a wrestling match every time to get him to have a good latch and feed long enough on once side to completely empty that side (he likes to quit early for some reason). I will keep trying hoping it will get better... but man, I dread feeding times.
We went to Target yesterday and it did NOT go well. He was sleeping just fine when we left home, but he seems to be one of those babies who doesn't like being in a stroller so much... he had a meltdown 5 minutes into our trip, and I couldn't concentrate on what to get nor find a decent place to breastfeed him (there are cameras everywhere in those stores!) so we finished our shopping quickly and went home. There we discovered the main cause of his wailing... he needed a diaper change. Had we thought about that in the store, we could have taken care of it and continued our trip... but live and learn as new parents, I suppose.
Since I had little sleep at this point, it was too much for me to take. Luckily Eliot was very sweet and took care of James to give me a break. He even offered to do so while I went back out shopping, but I didn't want to do anything but sleep and eat. So he went out to get us some Thai food and we called it a night.
Parenthood includes a lot of adjustment. We knew that would be the case, but it doesn't make it any easier. I wouldn't give up the little guy for the world though... he is an amazing blessing and wonderful addition to our family. Now only if he would sleep through the night...