392 days

I breastfed James every day for the past 392 days. Last night, I was debating weaning off of his 4:30am feeding so I could FINALLY sleep through a full night, but even though he wasn't eating much at it anyway, I just couldn't bring myself to take that last step and stop his very last feeding.

Well, James made the decision for me.

I woke up at 6:56 this morning realizing he had slept through his feeding. He didn't need it, and this was proof. So, today, July 17, 2011, he is officially fully weaned (of his own choosing).

I am actually quite a bit sadder than I thought I would be... I feel like he doesn't need me anymore (which is silly, of course he needs me!). But my little baby isn't a baby anymore, he's days away from taking his first steps and saying his first words. He understands most of what I say and can almost dress himself (he puts his arms through all the holes for me when I dress him). And I have to ask... how did we get here so fast?

Maybe it was the sleep deprivation of the past year, I don't know... but I can't believe we are here already, weaning and all. My baby grew up too fast! :-(

I think the hardest thing is changing somethings o major that I have done with him every morning of his life since day 1. He and I have always spent the early morning hours curled up together... and now he doesn't need that anymore. Maybe I do a little, but I'll get over it. Especially when I start feeling refreshed instead of groggy in the morning. I can't even remember what that's like!

So here's to 13 months of exclusively breastfeeding my child... I can stop knowing I did the best I could for him for as long as he needed it, and that makes it all worthwhile. :-)