Saturday, October 31, 2009

Thinking positively

There is so much bad news out there, stories of women who have miscarriages, stillborn births, complications, etc that I finally decided that I needed to stop listening to all the negative and start thinking positively about the wonderful blessing we have been given and let myself be excited about it instead of scared.

So, we are starting to tell a few more people (for prayer support and encouragement) and have started taking walks together around stores with baby departments so we can think about the future together. It's wonderful to have the time together, get exercise, and also be prepared about the cost of baby items so we can budget for them. I am also beginning to think about themes for the nursery since I love decorating so much. Here are a few I'm thinking of:

Pirates of the Caribbean (the GOOD pirates!)
Critter country (squirrels, raccoons, bears, etc)
Robin Hood (my favorite Disney cartoon)

Garden/flowers (with pink, green, and light yellow)
Peter Rabbit garden
Some sort of Disney female character/design, not sure what exactly

If it is a boy, we probably will leave the room the blue color it already is, but we'll paint it with a light green color if it is a girl (since we already have a full can of paint left over from painting our bedroom). If anyone has any ideas they would like to throw in the hat, please let me know! I am not particularly set on anything, and I actually have more boy themes that I like at the moment than girl themes. Eliot and I both agreed we didn't want any overwhelming pink if it is a girl, just subtle pink... and Eliot is opposed to the idea of "little princess" for a number of reasons, so that is out.

Whatever we end up doing, it will be on a budget... but I have been able to decorate many rooms in the house on a budget, so I am not too worried! :-)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I hate butternut squash.

The very sight of butternut squash makes my stomach turn and causes me to gag uncontrollably. The smell of it is even worse. I used to love it, and now anything that resembles it makes me nauseous, including a cartoon character on Veggie Tales that was designed as a squash. Seriously.

Unfortunately, anything that remotely looks like it can be related to the squash in question is included in this category. So far, sweet potatoes and, unfortunately, pumpkins fall into this category. I am ok with the sight of pumpkins, but we are supposed to carve them on Friday and I am freaking out that I won't be able to stand the sight of them. And yet I am so excited about those baked pumpkin seeds.... I am so torn!

Also, just for the record, I did get my seasonal flu shot yesterday, but not the H1N1 because they are all out in the area. As a result, my arm has hurt for the last 24 hrs (my LEFT arm, which sucks because I am supposed to sleep on my LEFT side), and I had a low grade fever last night which didn't help my attempts to sleep. Not that I'm complaining or anything. :-)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Precordial Catch Syndrome

Tonight while struggling to fall asleep (yet again), I was laying down reading when suddenly I felt this intense, sharp pain in my left lung when I breathed in too deeply or moved at all. I started to panic, as I thought I'd have to wake up Eliot and head to the ER. I thought maybe a heart attack or something awful... I grabbed my laptop, and a few minutes later I felt this "pop" in my chest and the pain was completely gone. Still curious if this was serious, I looked around and discovered this which sounds exactly like what happened:

Precordial Catch Syndrome
(PCS), also known as Texidor's twinge, is a common cause of chest pain complaints in children and adolescents. It also occurs, though less frequently, in adults. PCS manifests itself as a very intense, sharp pain typically at the left side of the chest which is worse when taking breaths. Patients often think that they are having a heart attack which causes them to panic. This typically lasts 30 seconds to 3 minutes, though some episodes last only a few breaths and in rare cases can last up to 30 minutes. In all cases the pain is resolved quickly and completely.

CS has consistent characteristics. Its symptoms begin with a sudden onset of anterior chest pain on the left side of the chest. The pain is localized and does not radiate like heart attack pain typically does. Breathing in, and sometimes breathing out, often intensifies the pain. Typically this causes the patient to freeze in place and breathe shallowly until the episode passes. Episodes typically last a couple of seconds to three minutes. The frequency of episodes varies by patient, sometimes occurring daily, multiple episodes each day, or years between episodes. This is believed to be localized cramping of certain muscles groups.

Although deep inhalation during a PCS attack will likely cause an increase in pain, many have found that forcing themselves to breathe as deeply as possible will result in a "popping" or "ripping" sensation which quickly and completely resolves the PCS episode.

PCS episodes happen most often while sitting or lying down, and being inactive.

So there you have it. I will mention this to my doctor when I see her on the 6th, but it doesn't sound too serious (I feel fine now). Everything I experienced was exactly like what is described above. I had never even heard of this before. Crazy!

I am going to go get my seasonal flu shot tomorrow, but the H1N1 is completely unavailable in the area. So I guess I will have to be super careful about not getting sick and avoid crowds as much as possible. :-( In any case, I am glad I can breathe deep again and will hopefully get to sleep soon!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

7 weeks!

I am 7 weeks today! Here are some of the highlights of what will be happening to little Baby Grasso this week:

The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.

If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Let the morning sickness begin!

I've found that if I don't eat anything for awhile or my stomach is getting empty I get reeeeeeallly nauseous. Fortunately, believe it or not, eating something makes it all better. It seemed so counterintuitive tonight to say to Eliot, "I'm feeling sick, we need to go eat." :-)

We had a nice date night tonight thanks to the 2 for $20 special at Chilis (we get one night per month to eat out and this was it!). I had baby back ribs which I have been craving for a few weeks since I saw one of those commercials with the catchy tunes. I've been walking around the house singing , "I want my baby back baby back baby back I want my baby back baby back baby back... Chiliiiiiiiiis Baby back ribs, Chilis baby back ribs BARBEQUE SAUCE!" Eliot just laughs.

Other than that, Eliot went to see his doctor and at the same time asked about me getting a flu shot, and his doctor made a big deal about how important it is for pregnant women to get the shot immediately, freaking Eliot out completely. Then Eliot came home and freaked me out by saying I should have got it weeks ago, making me feel like I am going to die if I walk out of the house. After a LONG talk about how he's not allowed to scare me like that, we decided we would trust God to keep us healthy, use good hand washing and go out to eat because, let's face it, I only leave the house maybe twice per week anyway. Yes, I will get the flu shots, but I am not going to live my life in fear of this "swine flu" plague.

I've also found that I do get nauseous in the mornings, but since I've been sleeping from 4am-2pm, I sleep through a lot of it. I've been trying not to feel guilty about sleeping the day away, since I know I need my rest, but it is such a bummer to see the sun go down after only 3 hours. I would like normal hours of sleep, but my brain just won't shut off! Grr.

Speaking of which, I am going to head to bed to read at least. I've decided to read some of the classics since I am up most of the night... this week is Little Women, last was Pride and Prejudice, and when I am finished with LW I will start Gone with the Wind. At least I can become more versed in the classics while sleep evades me!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

H1N1- Piggy flu decision

Well, I think I will probably get the H1N1 vaccine when it becomes available, though I hear today it will be delayed in some places till November or December, so we'll see if my doctor has it yet. I've decided that I'd rather get a shot considered safe than risk getting the flu when I'm out and about or have to live a hermit-ish life for the next 8 months.

I will still talk to my doctor about it, but unless she tells me I really don't need it, I think it's better to be safe than sorry.

Today I am making biscotti and preparing the meat filling for homemade ravioli I am making tomorrow. That's about all I can handle for the day, besides maybe some watering of plants... I just get tired too easily. Oh well, it will be worth it! :-)


Our baby is the size of a lentil this week! :-)

In other news, I am exhausted, but can't sleep, hungry, but nothing sounds good to eat... oy.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

6 weeks!

I am six weeks today... and starting to feel like it! Amid many, MANY trips to the bathroom and my body forgetting how to digest food properly, it's been a heck of a pregnancy week. I am exhausted, elated, stressed, overwhelmed, and hopeful. Only a few more weeks till my doctor's appt...

I am focusing on doing two tasks this week to keep myself active and getting stuff done... making something for dad's 60th b-day dinner every night, and going to go get new At&t cell phones with Eliot (while keeping our old number) since my screen died on my phone today and we both need new ones. If we can switch carriers for a cheaper plan and free phones, why not??
I will also be trying to finish some of my Christmas shopping/projects so I can be stress-free for the holidays!

I found this video from NOVA online that is kind of what is happening in these few weeks of my pregnancy.... a miracle to be sure!

I also get updates from baby center about what is going on week per week, and this is what it said this week:
This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute -- almost twice as fast as yours -- and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil bean.

I can't believe there is another life inside me with a beating heart, it just doesn't seem possible. I hope our little bean is healthy!!

How he loves our family, how we are blessed...

He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all.
~David Crowder

Friday, October 16, 2009

Sesame Seed!

Our baby is the size of a sesame seed this week! It's heart is also dividing into four chambers and beginning to pump blood this week. How amazing is that??

Here is a pic of the size of the baby represented next to a quarter in case you can't remember how big a sesame seed is: Just a little seed...

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

5 weeks, 3 days and counting... when can I tell??

So now I am just bursting to tell everyone. Even people that wouldn't care. I want to tell the person at the checkout at Walmart that I am expecting. I dream about announcing to everyone in the Chrorale that I won't be able to sing in the 3rd concert this year because I'll be due around the time of the performance. I even let it slip to one person who is also pregnant in the chorale and asked her to pray for us (she is only singing one small thing with us this fall hence less of a chance of her telling others, although I figure she can keep a secret).

It's weird to have something you want to share with the whole world, something that is going to change your whole life forever, and not be able to say a word. Now, I know this is our own choice because we don't want to have to tell all those same people should the worst happen, but at the same time it is so HARD to wait! It is killing me that I can't write what I am really feeling/doing/thinking in my facebook updates, and it is even worse when I have to talk to people in Chorale and NOT blurt it out that I am pregnant!

Today is 5 weeks and 3 days, still really early. I had hardly any symptoms today and it makes me nervous (I should have increasing symptoms, right?). But then I tell myself I am just being silly, that yes, I am still pregnant. It will be so great to get to that first doctor's appt just to know everything is ok. Till then, I will trust that the Lord has everything under control. Maybe I should just be happy that I am not throwing up all the time! :-)

Friday, October 9, 2009

And the waiting begins....

I am just starting to realize how LONG nine months is going to be, and how fast it will fly by without me realizing it at the same time. I have to wait almost a whole month before I can see a doctor, and possibly see this little bean. Sigh. I know I should cherish each moment, but I just keep thinking about all the things that can go wrong and how we could lose the baby, and since some friends of ours just lost their little girl at 27 weeks, all this stuff is at the forefront of my mind. I know that God is taking care of our family and I just need to trust him... that helps me to sleep at night. But it's hard to not know if everything is ok with this pregnancy or if something will go wrong, and I won't even have an inkling about what is going on inside me for another month!

Patience. I'm glad to have nine months to prepare for everything, and at the same time I wish I could know if everything is going to be ok.... Prayers, please!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

4 weeks, 3 days

4 weeks and 3 days pregnant!
From Baby stuff!

I have been feeling more tired recently and I can't do as much as I used to without needing to rest. Other than that, things are pretty good. Mom bought me a book called "Your pregnancy week by week" that I was reading from the library (thanks Mom!) and it has been very helpful. Eliot got one from mom too for dads that he has been reading and enjoying, although the financial aspect stresses us both out a bit. The Lord will provide, though, right? Have to keep reminding myself that....

The car is in the shop since it almost broke down again last night when I was driving home by myself in the dark. Dad thinks it might bethe alternator not recharging the battery, and that is why all the lights dim and the stereo shuts off after driving for awhile. We'll find out tomorrow since I dropped the car off today. Gotta get the car working if we will be driving a kiddo around in it in 9 months! :-D

Other than that, not much going on. I am eating more, which is good, but my "normal" symptoms some time freak me out (cramping, etc) since I don't really know what is normal and what is not. I think I will feel better after the doctor's appt when I know everything is a-ok.... the only thing I am going on to know I am pregnant and everything is ok is a stick with a few lines on it! :-) Oh well, I will have to be patient...

Monday, October 5, 2009

I have a doctor!

I called and made my first appointment with the OB doctor today... the woman scheduling me and was nice and very helpful. The appt. is on Nov. 6th, which is when I will be 8 1/2 weeks along (I think) and will probably be able to at least see the heartbeat (!!!). I can't believe how amazing this all is, it's just so strange to think that there is another person inside me. What a miracle.

I also asked the office about flu shots, she didn't seem too worried about it and said I can get one when I come to my appt. We will probably send Eliot out for one at Walgreens (they don't have them at our regular office yet) since he is at the university and picks up all kinds of bugs there.

As for me, I am trying to get some sleep, but I have a lot of restless nights tossing and turning, and I feel queasy multiple times in the day if I don't eat when I should. Yuck. Oh well... comes with the territory!

And on the cravings side... I've had enormous cravings for Cream of Wheat like dad used to make it, with salt and margarine (not butter, lets not get carried away!). I haven't had cream of wheat for years, and now I want it for every meal! I make sure that I eat a considerably balanced diet, though, as I did before pregnancy anyway.

Gotta go eat before trekking up to Portland to sing with the Chorale! I guess I won't get to sing in their last concert this season (the 25th anniversary one) with them... boo... Well, I guess a baby is a good reason not to get to sing! :-)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Celebrate good times, COME ON!

Tonight To-be Aunt Lindy and Uncle Nathan brought Levi and Asher over for a visit to celebrate, bringing brats (the hot dogs, not the kids!), chips, and beer (root, for me too!). We also had the pleasure of going out last night with our wonderful friends Jake and Jodi for dinner at the Olive Garden... we feel so blessed to have so many people be so happy for us and want to celebrate!! Here are some pics from our visit from Nathan and Lindy:
From Baby stuff!

From Baby stuff!

From Baby stuff!

I am feeling pretty fatigued and a little nauseous in the evenings, but other than that I'm pretty good. I had some nightmares last night about a zombie attack, and it was so vivid it woke me up. I am hoping that is a trend that doesn't continue....

Monday I will call around and (hopefully!) make a doctor's appt, not to mention figure out how to get a flu shot. I can't believe how expecting has made us so busy already!

Thanks to everyone for being so supportive in prayer and otherwise. We really, truly appreciate it all!

Friday, October 2, 2009

We're expecting!

I decided to start a new blog to share with everyone our adventures in parenting... while my old blog was useful for many years, I feel I am starting a new chapter of my life that deserves it's own space. So... here we go!

First on the agenda, the name is from our last name, combined with clippings from our life, and soon we will have a little one that will have clippings to share of their own!

Second up, the story of my BFP (Big Fat Positive!):

Eliot and I have been debating, praying, and discussing for months (if not years) when we should become parents. It's not a decision we take lightly, especially financially with Eliot still in school, but around the past few months we have both been feeling a strong pull to be parents. So, trusting God in His faithfulness that we would be parents in His perfect timing, we decided to stop my birth control pills. That was about a month ago.

Fast forward to this morning... I had been charting my temps to see if I was even ovulating yet, and since my temp dropped this morning (usually symbolizing Aunt Flo is in town), I was pretty discouraged. But, since I had joined a group of supportive trying-to-conceive women on Baby Center in a "pee-on-a-stick" party, I decided to go for it and test. With a First Response Early Result test in hand, I completed the test and set it to wait on the counter. What I saw next I couldn't believe (I actually put in my contacts to make sure I was seeing it correctly!):

From Baby stuff!

I was so excited I was shaking. I couldn't call anyone because Eliot was at school and I of course had to tell him first! So there I was, sitting around all day, waiting for him to come home. SO, I went out to Old Navy and found a (3-6mo, it's all they had) gender-neutral baby outfit that said "I love daddy" on it and put it in the bag with the test. When Eliot walked in the door, I tried to pretend I was excited about the shark steam mop that I had just gotten to not give away the secret (well, I am excited about the mop, but not quite as excited!). Then, after he excruciatingly slowly took his shoes off, etc (he had a long week), I handed him a non-descript gift bag and said I had gotten him something. Here's what was inside:

From Baby stuff!

From Baby stuff!

Well, that plus the positive pregnancy test. Eliot looked at the shirt and said, "It's a little small for me." Then he looked at my huge grin and said, "You're pregnant?!" He was all smiles and hugs and we were both quite happy! :-)

Then, while Eliot taught a lesson, I decided to go out and get a different test, one of those digital ones that say "pregnant" or "not pregnant" to make sure it wasn't a fluke. When I got back, we tested again, and...

From Baby stuff!

We decided to call a few family members and close friends and share the news, telling some on Skype and some over the phone. I used the tests as evidence:
From Baby stuff!

So it's official. I haven't seen a doc because I have to find an OB in the area first, but I may go see my regular doctor and get a flu shot this next week anyway. I am taking all the prenatal vitamins and meds for my thyroid as appropriate, so hopefully everything will go well and we can tell everyone else soon!

I feel personally like God was guiding our decision from the start... people don't often conceive so quickly, and we both knew we were being called to parenthood. What an amazing thing it is to see God's work so clearly in our lives!

There you have it. The Grassos are expecting!