35 weeks and counting...

I thought I'd just post a quick update about what has been going on around the house. Eliot is between semesters right now, which means he has time off (GASP!) and is available to help me around the house with James. This is a very good thing because I need a lot more help! I am 35 weeks 3 days today, and this pregnancy seems harder on my body than my first. I can't walk well by the end of the day because my hips hurt so bad, and my back won't tolerate much lifting now (which is hard not to do with a 30lb toddler who runs away from you all the time!). Luckily I am not having the heartburn I had last pregnancy... well, yet at least. We had an ultrasound this past week to check the baby's size. She looked perfectly healthy, 5lbs 2oz! And the thing on her heart we were worried about as being a soft marker for downs syndrome was totally gone, he heart looked great. A HUGE relief. The only bummer was that she was breech and had her face buried in my spine, so we got exactly one picture... of her arm. We could have gotten some really amazing pics of her face in 3D at this point, but I guess God wants us to be surprised! The whole breech thing is not good, it could result with me getting a c-section if we can't get her to turn, but I think she might have turned already as I feel kicks up higher now instead of on my bladder like before (yeah, that was comfy...). To get her to turn, I had to lay with my hips propped up on pillows, creating an incline for her to gravitationally be pulled out of my pelvis and then go head down. I am fairly sure the first time I did it, she turned because it hurt like heck... my lower abdomen burned almost and it felt like she was shoved up in my lungs. I guess we'll see a week from now when I see my midwife again (I am down to an appointment every week! Woohoo!). James is doing well overall. We think he's having a growth spurt because he had some amazing tantrums the other night (while we had dinner guests, of course) and then slept from 7pm to noon the next day. He also just looks taller to us. Tonight was more of the same crazy tantrums all afternoon and evening, so I wonder if it will happen again. He does have tantrums just because of his age, but usually not more than one a day really. So this continuous crankiness has me suspecting something is up. As far as the language goes, he is slowly picking up new words. No more real sentences, though... he saves those to use occasionally I think. His favorite words right now are "Bee," "No," "I bite," "Owie" and "Go." I also think he's said kite, hot dog, up, Yo Ho and a few others, but they weren't terribly clear. It's been an interesting journey in realizing my kids won't always do what others do, or do things in the "normal" way. He still doesn't call me mama ever, but once in awhile he'll call Eliot Daddy. He uses a lot of sign language but has no sign for me (regardless of us trying to teach it for him). He knows who I am and loves me and all, but I guess I always thought Mama would be once of his first words, and that simply just didn't happen. Most of all I'm getting a lesson recently on just how much I can handle. One day near the end of Eliot's 8-week summer courses (where I watched James all day every day) I called him sobbing on his lunch break telling him I just can't do it anymore, that watching James while being so pregnant seemed utterly impossible. It was a day when he had used me as a punching bag and jungle gym, had multiple time-outs, ran away from me at the library (where I couldn't even check out the books I had painstakingly picked out while trying to wrangle James because of some fines I didn't know I had), and then he didn't nap and was running around his room. I was so done with childcare, and I needed a nap myself. I honestly didn't believe I could make it another day. But somehow the Lord gave me strength, and the next day was much better. I'm realizing that adding this new baby will bring all sorts of new stress and challenges. I'm trying to be optimistic about it, that we will adjust and things will get easier over time. But I do have to say I'm a bit scared of the change... It's all the unknowns about how we will cope with the lost sleep while trying to take care of a toddler, how James will handle a new sibling (and if he will try to hurt her), how I will balance my attention between two kiddos and give them each what they need without accidentally ignoring the other one. I keep reminding myself that these things will all work themselves out, as God would not give me two kids if He didn't think I could handle them. And I know He will be with me through it all, my strength when I don't think I have any left. That's what He's done up until this point, and I doubt he will abandon me now! So as I prep for labor and birth and welcoming our new little girl into our lives sometime in the next few weeks, I'm trying to focus on the blessing that is our family, and all the people out there who are supporting us in all kinds of ways (you know who you are). I am so grateful that, no matter what comes, I am not alone.