I'm not enjoying breastfeeding. Really, really not. It seems I am struggling with oversupply this week (never thought I'd have that problem)... James has had pretty much every symptom in the book for oversupply. And I'm trying to correct the problem with info from La Leche league International... but it's going slowly.
Basically, I'm tired of being another person's food source, especially when I feel like I can't do it right. First I had problems with a bad latch, and then just as I'm about to figure that out, this new problem arises. He also has a small diaper rash that doesn't respond to any creams and is probably another symptom of there being too much lactose in his system from oversupply (we're calling our pediatrician tomorrow).
On the upside, oversupply causes him to gain weight quickly, which isn't a problem to be concerned about. He weighted 10 lbs 6oz at last weight-in on our scale (Oh my goodness!). I think he is also almost 23 inches long, which makes him a very big boy who has outgrown all his newborn clothes and most of his 0-3 mo clothes. Already. At 5 weeks old. *tear*
But yeah. I like pumping and giving him a bottle more than breastfeeding because breastfeeding feels like a wrestling match every time to get him to have a good latch and feed long enough on once side to completely empty that side (he likes to quit early for some reason). I will keep trying hoping it will get better... but man, I dread feeding times.
We went to Target yesterday and it did NOT go well. He was sleeping just fine when we left home, but he seems to be one of those babies who doesn't like being in a stroller so much... he had a meltdown 5 minutes into our trip, and I couldn't concentrate on what to get nor find a decent place to breastfeed him (there are cameras everywhere in those stores!) so we finished our shopping quickly and went home. There we discovered the main cause of his wailing... he needed a diaper change. Had we thought about that in the store, we could have taken care of it and continued our trip... but live and learn as new parents, I suppose.
Since I had little sleep at this point, it was too much for me to take. Luckily Eliot was very sweet and took care of James to give me a break. He even offered to do so while I went back out shopping, but I didn't want to do anything but sleep and eat. So he went out to get us some Thai food and we called it a night.
Parenthood includes a lot of adjustment. We knew that would be the case, but it doesn't make it any easier. I wouldn't give up the little guy for the world though... he is an amazing blessing and wonderful addition to our family. Now only if he would sleep through the night...
I only comment because I know it can sometimes make you feel better if someone is going through the same thing. I have had an abundant mily supply since day one, and yes it makes feeding much more complicated. Annabelle does seem to be growing very fast, but that isn't a concern to me...the bigger problem with the supply issue is that the milk comes so fast it makes her gag and cough. She tends to break the latch 3 or 4 times per feeding, which can be very frustrating. My least favorite part is when she comes off choking and takes a minute before she breaths and clears it out. It's really scary!
ReplyDeleteI definitely perfer this to the alternative though. I was talking with someone recently who could only pump 2 ounces out of both breasts. She was very jealous of my abundant supply and it made me realize that I should be grateful to God for providing adequate food for my duaghter. Hang in there. It's worth it! Good luck!
Thank Brigid, that does help. :-)
ReplyDeleteKate, I can't get over how much he looks like a little boy already! You are doing an awesome job despite the difficulties!
ReplyDeleteNursing is different for everyone and if the breast feeding is stressful for you perhaps you should do more bottles, gradually. It's great to have the close, personal bonding with you, but getting milk from mama is the main thing. From my perspective, giving James your milk in bottles is fine. Doing some of both may give you a better feeling about the whole thing and also give you greater flexibility of movement. Whatever you do, don't worry about what other people think. You're a good mom and James will thrive in your care.